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​Friendships can make life brighter. Good friends support you, make you laugh, and help you feel less alone during tough times. But not every friendship is healthy — and sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference.

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If you’ve ever felt drained, pressured, left out, or anxious because of a friendship, you’re not overreacting. Learning what healthy friendships look like is an important part of protecting your mental health.

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The charity YoungMinds offers helpful advice for teens dealing with friendship struggles, peer pressure, and mental wellbeing. Their guide on friendships explains that even strong friendships can go through difficult phases, but unhealthy patterns should never be ignored.

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What Does a Healthy Friendship Look Like?

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Healthy friendships usually make you feel:

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• Respected

• Safe being yourself

• Supported during difficult times

• Comfortable setting boundaries

• Included instead of controlled

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A healthy friend listens to you, respects your opinions, and doesn’t pressure you into doing things that make you uncomfortable. Mental health experts also highlight trust, communication, and mutual respect as key signs of healthy relationships.

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Sometimes healthy friendships even help improve mental health by reducing loneliness and stress. Young people featured by YoungMinds said their friends helped them feel “understood” and less ashamed about their emotions.

 

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Signs a Friendship Might Be Unhealthy

 

Not every argument means a friendship is toxic. Friends disagree sometimes. But repeated harmful behaviour can be a warning sign.

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According to YoungMinds, unhealthy friendships may involve:

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• Pressure to drink, vape, take drugs, or break rules

• Hurtful “jokes” that cross the line

• Constant drama or emotional exhaustion

• Feeling guilty for spending time with other people

• Bullying or exclusion

• One-sided emotional support

• Feeling anxious or uncomfortable around them

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Other youth mental health organisations also warn about controlling behaviour, jealousy, insults, or someone trying to isolate you from others.

 

A good question to ask yourself is:

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“How does this friendship make me feel most of the time?”

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If the answer is stressed, unsafe, pressured, or emotionally drained, it may be time to rethink the friendship.

 

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Why Setting Boundaries Matters

 

Boundaries are limits that protect your mental health and energy. They help friendships stay respectful and balanced.

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Examples of healthy boundaries include:

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• Saying no when you need space

• Not replying instantly all the time

• Refusing to keep dangerous secrets

• Taking breaks from stressful conversations

• Choosing not to join risky behaviour

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YoungMinds shares real stories from teens who learned that constantly carrying other people’s problems can become overwhelming. One young person explained how setting boundaries helped protect their own mental health while supporting a struggling friend.

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Remember: being a good friend does not mean sacrificing your wellbeing.

 

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What To Do If a Friendship Is Affecting You

 

If a friendship feels unhealthy, here are a few things you can try:

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Talk honestly.

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If it feels safe, explain how certain behaviour makes you feel. Calm, clear communication can sometimes improve the friendship.

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Reach out to someone you trust.

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A parent, older sibling, school counsellor, teacher, or another trusted adult can help you process what’s happening.

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Spend time with supportive people.

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Try joining clubs, sports, creative groups, or activities where you can meet people with shared interests.

 

Trust your instincts.

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If something feels wrong, uncomfortable, or emotionally exhausting, don’t ignore that feeling.

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Get extra support if needed.

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Friendship problems can seriously affect confidence, anxiety levels, and self-esteem. You deserve support just like you would for any other mental health issue.

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You’re Allowed to Outgrow Friendships.

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One of the hardest parts of growing up is realising that not every friendship lasts forever. People change, priorities shift, and sometimes friendships stop being healthy.

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That doesn’t mean you failed.

 

Moving away from unhealthy friendships can create space for healthier, more supportive relationships in the future.

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Learn More and Get Support.

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If you want more advice about friendships, boundaries, peer pressure, or talking about mental health, check out the full YoungMinds guide here:

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YoungMinds Friendship Guide for Teens